There is no getting around it, love that is between two broken people is messy. All relationships are hard. Every one of us feels it. Yet, there is something that keeps drawing us to community with others. It is like we were made to be in some sort of a relationship, so we set ourselves to seeking out a community of relationships that will fill our hearts.
We get married, have children, and make friends. We have co-workers, neighbors, and families. And within the walls of these relationships, we are met with an array of things that keep reminding us that our horizontal relationships won’t satisfy what our hearts long for.
While I love my husband, my kids, my grandsons, and family and friends, none of them can truly quench the thirst and desires of my heart. I know from experience for I have tried to seek what I think love is from marriage, motherhood and friendships, and God has shown me that my deepest needs will never be met by them. This world is too marred by sin and shame for satisfied love to be fully experienced.
A love that satisfies can only come from heaven.
God understood this so He did something about it. He gave the world Jesus. He gave you, personally, Jesus. 1 John 4:7-21 reveals God’s amazing love. Actually, you read about His love throughout the pages of the whole Bible. It’s the theme of God’s Word. “God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him This is real love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”9-10
Jesus is meant to be intertwined in your life, in every fiber of your being. He is meant to be allowed to dictate how you live and think. When a child of God lives in such an abiding way with their Lord and Savior, earthly relationships become unified, strengthened, and able to overcome temptations. God steps in and helps. There is never a marriage of two people, it needs three. Successful parenting happens when Jesus is allowed to lead. Friendships thrive and go deep when the Holy Spirit is allowed to breathe life into it.
Anything outside of Jesus being first and foremost in your life will cause unsatisfied love to occur. Discord and disunity erupt when either party refuses to place Jesus in the center and live in obedience. This is why God says in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols?”
Further into 2 Corinthians is 7:1, “Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body and spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God.” In order to take your unsatisfied love and turn it to one that is satisfied, you must let Jesus have his way with you. You can’t worry about the other party. Jesus wants to help you to become more like Him, and He wants you to pray for the other person. God will help the other person to follow Jesus. If discourse still remains, then someone isn’t doing their part. They are placing idols before Christ.
Do you desire perfect love? Then look to Jesus. Follow Him whole-heartedly. Follow Him more than you do any earthly relationship. Do you desire your needs to be met? Then look to Jesus. No one else can be what you need. You are called to holiness and that is the only way to build healthy relationships with those around you. You are called to follow the Holy Spirit in obedience. Then, and only then, can you truly love another.
Carol J German 