At the end of 1 Peter 2, Peter tells of the transformation that takes place when you follow Jesus. “Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your soul.”25 Ephesians 5:8 says, “Once your heart was full of darkness, now it is full of light from the Lord (because you turned to the Shepherd). Let your behavior show it.”
Today, Peter continues teaching you what life looks like now that God called you out of this dark world. Your life takes on a whole new look where you have the privilege of walking in the halls of glory with God. You become mindful of how you live. From His transformation, God calls you to live out His ways. He has certain roles for each of us, and Peter reveals what the roles are in marriage.
Before you read today’s passage, I need you to pray and ask God to help you have humility and understanding in what the Holy Spirit wants you to learn. Be open-minded and willing to see the good that God has for the wife’s role as well as for the husband. God created marriage, and His intention is to bring two people together where they become holy and united in Christ. This cannot happen until each party is broken and surrendered at the cross.
The world has done a great job at twisting things around and causing strife and division in relationships, especially in marriage. The reason behind this is Satan himself. If you are interested in understanding more about him so you can become more aware and alert to his lies, get yourself a copy of my book, God Hears My Heart. Check out the Books section in the menu bar for the links to ordering it. You will be helping feed children around the world when you do. A percentage of my royalties goes to Feed My Starving Children.
Go ahead and read 1 Peter 3:1-12.
The first six verses is for wives. Ladies, if the hair is standing up on the back of your neck over what you just read, I want you to know that it’s normal. I’ve been married for 32 years and I still have to tell my flesh to back off and allow God to lead me in how I am supposed to behave. This is where faith is fueled by belief and trust. I have come to trust God and know that He wants the very best for me, and in my marriage. He has called me to follow His Son and live by the Holy Spirit’s promptings; see Proverbs 3:5-6.
God calls wives to accept the authority of their husbands. Why does God want wives to live in this fashion, see verses 1-2? For some reason, men struggle more with following Christ whole-heartedly than women. It may be that females are wired relationally and respond with their hearts, and men are out to conquer and provide. They respond with their minds, and think logistically. Perhaps following Jesus in a relationship-style fashion is easier for women than men. This is just my observation. I know that not all men and women can be categorized this way but it’s something to think about.
Since God knows this, look at the beautiful role a wife has. Simply by her gentle demeanor and tender ways, a wife has the power to change her husband’s heart towards God. Wow, ladies, that’s powerful! Look at how God can use a wife to bring about eternal change in her husband’s heart.
In verses 3-6, Peter says to not be concerned about external beauty like hair, jewelry and fancy clothing. We are to be more concerned with what our hearts look like. How does Peter explain this from these verses? When a wife’s heart is for her Lord, her marriage is blessed. To live the way God wants wives to live, you need to trust God completely, and know that God is working in your marriage. God calls you to do what is right without fearing whether your husband listens to God or not. God sees what goes on. God will take care of your husband. This is true in all relationships. God is in the midst of two people learning how to love like Jesus loved.
To live this way, it will take trust on your part, especially if you are married to someone who gets distracted easily or is uninterested in maturing in their own faith. A wife is only responsible for her own faith, yet, her strong faith can change her man’s heart. So, keep believing and hoping until death do you part.
Husbands, Peter didn’t forget you, look at verse 7. Husbands are to give honor to their wives. Understand her. How does Peter describe your wife compared to you? She is an equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Peter also says to treat her as you should so your prayers won’t be hindered. How can a man hinder his prayers to God?
Go to Ephesians 5:25-33. Paul gives a detailed picture of how a man should treat his wife. List out the ways. I have come to learn in my marriage that the husband has the harder role to carry out than the wife. When a husband gets lazy and takes his wife for granted, his prayers will be hindered. God will stop listening. Men need to guard this, for you do not want to squash your wife’s heart and spirit. Grave things happen when you do. A man does not want to live with a wife whose heart has been battered and bruised. She stops caring.
Now, Peter deals with all believers, encouraging you and I that we need to be mindful in how we live. What does verses 8-9 say about our conduct as Christians? Would more unbelievers be open to believing God is we lived this way? Sadly, this pandemic has brought out the ugliness of sin within believers, and it has done great damage to the unbelieving world. So many are not interested in God. Sadly, Christians have become so individualistic that they have dimmed the light that is supposed to be shining in their hearts.
Look at the final few scriptures, verses 10-12. Peter says if you want to enjoy life and see happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. For added insight, read James 3. A believer is called to turn away from evil and do good. “Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”11 Why should you, according to verse 12?
This should be the catapult that thrusts you forward where you land face down at the foot of the cross, humbled and broken. From there, God lifts you up, cleans you off, and begins a work within your heart where others will be blessed by you. Your spouse will thank you, your children will thank you, your neighbors, family and friends will thank you.
When Christ comes to reside within your heart, you become spiritually alive where God becomes active within you. Your thinking, speech, and conduct align themselves up to God’s standard of living. You become worthy to walk in the halls of glory.